Funny old week; its Wednesday afternoon and I have exactly 45 minutes before my peace is broken i.e until my son comes back from school (I say school I mean nursery but if we call it school he thinks he's a big boy) Urgh I hate waiting with all the other mums and dads at the school gate..how did I get from being 'Just Charlotte' to 'Charlotte the mummy'? I've no idea, I always thought I'd lap up chatting to the other parents..oh no..not me.
Its a funny old thing the playground; a bit like a load of ants waiting to pounce on a meal. People shy away from looking at you as if to say, don't look at me...don't talk to me..why? I'm the type of person who always gives people a smile, it seems to particularly unnerve the other ants..so I do it more (I'm like that) more of a reflection of them really I suppose but its sad really isn't it?
So when my 'mummy' hats off I'll be down to being an artist again...well I say artist. I think all of you are thinking I fanny around in a studio everyday with a smock and funny french hat with and paint brushes hanging out of my pocket. Well not this one, if I can grab an hour in my studio (ahem...I say studio actually it's big blue shed at the bottom of the garden mainly full of crap but also a load of shiny things and more paint than B+Q.) Where was I? Oh yes if I do get a moment in there (not sorting out all the crap) recently I've actually been doing some of my own work- result!
Its been a long time, about 5 years; actually it seems something ignited me recently; a mixture of a few things, I realised just how drawing and painting can be an expression of whats going on in my mind. Scary as my mind wonders terribly, did anyone watch Eastenders the other night? Oh shit there it goes again.
My works mainly abstract but if you look close enough you can see little teasers of what its really about; its like taking a photograph but only showing a slight spec of it, you get a taster but actually you've no idea what the picture is and your really just looking to see if its pretty or not.
Its fab I love it, it keeps me alive and kicking and I'd really forgotten that buzz I get from doing it. Its like having a fag behind the bike sheds when you were at school (although I never did I was a good girl) a pure moment of self indulgence and free falling.
Everyone always says they can't draw; to enjoy producing art you don't have to (although 6 years training I think I'm allowed to say I can) you just have to be able to let yourself go and not worry about the end result, if looks ok when you done then its a bonus, if not? Well then that's what the bins for isn't? I never throw anything away though, I am an artist version of a hoarder or those weird people who keep there wee in bottles...did you see that documentary? What the bejezus what that about? Anyway I digress, you'll get used to that people. I suppose because every drawing, sketch or word I write is a little piece of me I can't throw it away and usually they always end up as being part of something.
So I'll sush now as I now have exactly 14 minutes until 'mummy hats' on again and I need to go and give those other ants a right good Lotty smile. I'll post some specs of my mind soon...I don't think there pretty but I think they are precious, so that will do me kids.
Bye for now x
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