Holding Hands

I love the cinema, actually I love going to the cinema on my own; some peoples idea of sticking a pin in your arm in the dark, but it's pure indulgence for me. I was a lucky girl tonight, tonight I went with my dear mum....if you read my blog you will know she has a nasty terminal thing growing in her begging with C. Yes that dirty bad boy, you wouldn't know looking at her she looks stunning,beaming almost, although Im just starting to notice the tiredness in her eyes; tiredness only a daughter would see.

We had a beautiful, poignant moment that upon describing sounds so dreadfully sad but on reflection was a moment I will hold in my heart for the rest of my life, rather like when I hold a bar of chocolate so tight in my hand if someone mentions the word share.
The scene, a mother a daughter sat together, mother dying of cancer, she was offered a job away but the daughter didn't want to go because her mum, the one and only mum we get was dying, she told her to go, live her life and she told her she was proud......me and mum were sat holding hands anyway..in-between shoving minstrels in our gob quicker than a whippet chasing a rabbit on speed. This moment in the film came, silence, no munching, we held hands, stoked fingers, squeezed each others hands tight, never moved, never looked at each other, tears streaming, the words saying what we were both feeling...then the mum in the film said "I'm not planning on dying yet." We both smiled, squeezed hands tighter and wiped the snot discreetly from our noses.

Sounds so sad doesn't it, it wasn't it was beautiful, truly beautiful, magical almost, made me realise what I already knew...this woman is my being, she has taught me so much; how to handle life, how to be strong, how to be a mother myself, how to not give a fuck what people think of you or what you look like, sing to a good song even if it's in a quite cinema (yeah we did that too) but most importantly how to love. How bloody lucky am I!

Go see the film 'The Help,' go on your own or take someone you love, breath it in like a good Vicks vapour rub, come out smiling then go dance in the street like no one is looking....you only live once right.

Thanks for reading lovelies xxx