Happiness and hurt in 140 characters

I don't know why I first joined twitter, I think I blame Steven Fry. I did the same as everyone else, got an orgasm when a celebrity talked to me, left for a while and came back. Early last year it changed my life, in a dramatic fashion and through a lot of heartache it made me a better stronger person and made my life more liveable as a result.
From then on in twitter became something different for me, I never went looking for friends or someone to talk too, just to be nosy really. Like peeping at the neighbours wearing a Harry Potter invisibility coat whilst sporting my ugliest knickers. It just happened I've met some beautiful people and have made some beautiful friends, for life I am truly blessed.
That said it has it's dramas, it's not perfect, nothing is. I've been trolled and not in a Billy goats gruff sense, Ive had my crushes and Christ if Tom Hardy doesn't stop DMing me I'm going to report the bastard.

Today was a bad day on twitter and I needed to write this blog, not to go into specifics but because this morning when I was very upset over something I realised it's power and it's shocked me; I knew it was powerful but I didn't know it actually gave electric shocks. A few words on a screen, making me cry on the flip side, scrolling down my timeline something making me smile. Two such extreme emotions. Happiness and hurt in 140 characters.

I used to fight liking twitter so much, I used to think I was waisting my evening; I stopped and I missed it, I wasn't happy, a close friend pointed out to me is we should only do things that made us happy. That's when I allowed myself to embrace twitter in a full force Lotty hug. I love it, I'm not ashamed to love it. If it's not impacting on my real life then as far as I'm concerned, jobs a good en, Bobs your Uncle and Fanny's your great Aunt that always buys you shitty socks.

Twitter for me now, as many of you know is an outlet, a place to spill my emotions about my mums cancer and not make anyone worry about me in my real life. As some of you know it's a thought bank for me deposit my valueless earnings of my mind; anything from who invented pencils to oh I fancy writing on my arm,I really think that shit! I'd happily tweet away to myself to be honest it's just therapeutic way getting thoughts and emotions out there. I realised today maybe I'm too open, it makes me vulnerable but I also realised it's just me and if there one thing I learnt from a very young age is just be me, always and it's done me well so far, if not left me a little bruised like an over ripe peach.

So I guess I've rambled enough, about nothing as usual. Once again I nearly deleted my account this morning, I actually hovered over the button but then I remembered you lot make me smile everyday, one way or another and I just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh and cry but mainly your kindness, it overwhelms me at times, I don't know what brought us all together but I'm happy we all got to know each other in this loony land that is twitter.

Now piss off I need to change my avi, I haven't in ten minutes.

Thanks for reading

xxxxx