Red Lipstick, Mothers, Daughters and Three Wishes

I woke up this morning as normal, got power dressed (which basically means tried not to look rough as shite) put my lucky red patent shoes on and slapped on some red lipstick. Me and my husband went to a children's home where the adoption offices are, for a fighting meeting about a baby girl.
I was sat on an over large sofa my feet didn't touch the floor, I felt like a child myself. I had my notes, three social workers facing me all staring at me with there heads tilted and smiling like fucking idiots but firing questions at me like bullets from a gun. I fought my corner, our corner, her corner.

It wasn't an ideal outcome, we agreed to compromise on our differences but the outcome was better than winning the lottery or getting the perfect job.....she's going to be ours! I can't believe I just typed that, she's there (less than 30 miles away) and I'm here, writing about her. She doesn't know me yet, I love her already. I've not even seen a picture yet but I love her, so so much.

Adoption is weird, no doubt about it, I was at the hospital the other day with my mum, my baby girl was born in my home town. I walked past the baby unit where she was born....she was there about a year ago to the day, her birth mother had walked on floor I had, looked at the same terrible paintings on the wall. She disappeared after ten days and my baby girl is finding her way home to Lotty towers, to mummy and daddy and her big brother.

When I was younger and now still, all I ever dreamed of was being and artist - check! Being married by the time I was 30 - check! Also having children, especially a girl, I'm particularly close to my mum, she's like the sister I never had and all I ever wanted was the chance to share the things I have shared and still do with my mum; do girly stuff and make memories to last a lifetime, simple things, they're always the best.
It seems in January all my dreams may have come true - shit a fucking brick, how cool is that! Yes it's cool, but it scary and wonderful at the same time, I have no expectations of her, or my son, I just want them to be themselves, follow their heart, be kind, loving and true to themselves always.

So there it is, dream number three; there are a zillion other things I want to do in my life but my three genie wishes just might be coming true. When I have looked my baby girl in the eyes and held her on my skin and kissed her little hands...the only thing left to do is place her in my mums arms and hold them both so tight and remember that moment for a life time, in my heart, in my mind, in my blood, in my bones.

The one thing that matters to me most in this world is remembering special moments and memories like that because you can search the world and look for happiness all your life, but it's that simple moment of love, with people you love, no matter how short, that means the most, that make you smile, laugh and cry all at the same time; here's to those moments and here's to cherishing them and holding them in our hearts forever.

See you soon baby girl.


Xxxx