Adoption

It's been a while kids, too long, but as all the best bloggs are this one is powered by passion. Here goes;

As most of you are aware I have an adopted son and my husband and I are adopting again, before I start I will say one thing that this not an anti-adoption blogg. If any of you are even considering it, don't consider a moment longer just do it; it's the most rewarding thing anyone can ever do, the joy of being a parent holds no bounds as you know but the joy of being an adoptive parent- well that's just the icing on the cake, the orgasm with sex and the breath of fresh air you take when reaching the top of a a mountain. (Just to be clear I've never actually reached the top of a mountain but I'm sure it's as I imagine.) Oh look at that I'm digressing...yes Lotty is back.

So without going into details for obvious reasons...there is a girl, a baby girl, the girl I'm not meant to get attached too yet, but I let my tough side slip and I already have and it could be like loosing the child I never met and I've never even seen a picture of....I didn't think that could happen in adoption but you live and learn eh.

Her nationality is not British but she was abandoned in my home town by her birth mother after a few days. She and the her birth mum had some serious diseases during and after pregnancy but thankfully baby is all clear now, her birth mother had no care whilst pregnant and well who knows..the file is very small and information is as sparse as cleaning products in my house. As with my son, I feel no anger towards her (I know many that would and do) I feel only empathy and sadness for her, no one chooses to make mistakes but her life obviously led her that way and I hope where ever she is that she is safe and healthy.

So last week we met with the powers that be and we were interviewed to see if they thought we were a good match (rather like interviewing a left foot to see if it gets on with the right foot.) Apparently I found out today they think we are a great match and we will make excellent parents for baby and were very impressed with us (well yeah...no shit Sherlock, don't they know they are dealing with Lotty here...if I'm going to do something and being a parent is no different I give my heart, soul, mind, last rolo and everything in-between.)

So what's problem? The problem is baby has a traditional very very distinctive name, a beautiful name in fact however because she was born in my home town this is a safety risk as far as we are concerned. Although there was no address for the birth mum, someone would have known her, the particular culture she is from has a very strong community here...she must have had friends, friends who knew her, friends who cared for her, friends who would know she was pregnant.
Therefore we are asking if we can give her a new name, and keep her birth name as her middle name.However it seems the clever social workers say no!

Yes, just as Zammo from Grange Hill said no drugs, the people from the social service say no! Where do you go from here? You tell me...I tell you what though I've had a few hours to digest this shit and I ain't turning my back on that little baby girl without a fight; even if I end up more battered and bruised than a rare steak in a boxing match with Ali.
They are saying it's the only thing her mother gave her, yes I understand this, but her mother gave her life, her looks, her soul and her breath. We understand the importance of it and we are willing to compromise to end of the earth...keep her original name on paperwork, let her choose her name when she is older but call her a new name for now.....anything, we won't deny her cultural heritage, we would even take her to her the country her blood is made from and let her see part of her identity in real life.

So at the moment the powers that be say no, like the man from Del Monte on a bad day, our social worker is feeding back to the powers that be tomorrow, I know they will still say no...so they better watch out because Lotty is going to kick some ass. Adoption is a long process but I didn't think I'd have to fight for for my baby girl....even more ironic that they want us, like us and are impressed by our personalities, understanding and skills as parents; but are potentially willing to put this baby's life on hold to find another match.

I haven't seen a picture of her, but I read her file and I wanted her, I wanted to look after her, to hold her on my skin and sing her to sleep, to mop up her sick when she pukes and to make her like my terrible cooking. It sounds stupid all this over a name, but safety HAS to be paramount when adopting and I can't believe I may have to give her up even before she was even mine, but tonight I decided we will fight because she deserves it, she deserves someone to give a shit about her and if I have to say good bye before looking into her eyes, as long as I have done everything in my power then I will have to live with the fact of never seeing her and knowing that maybe she just wasn't the one.

I'll keep you posted, let's just hope the next ones a happy one eh.

Wherever you are sweetheart, sleep tight, have sweet dreams because you deserve them and don't forget mummy and daddy will fight to the end so we can hear you sleeping in the next room. I know I shouldn't but I think I love you already.

XXX